My wife and I are walking along the banks of the river.
We are on the left.
There is a boy in the water.
He is swimming across the river.
Here is another photograph.
This is the school building.
It is beside a park.
The park is on the right.
Some children are coming out of the building.
Some of them are going into the park.
Making a bookcase
You're working hard, George.
What are you doing?
I'm making a bookcase.
Give me that hammer please, Fred.
Which hammer?
This one?
No, not that one.
The big one.
Here you are.
Thanks, Fred.
What are you going to do now, George?
I'm going to paint it.
What colour are you going to paint it?
I'm going to paint it pink.
Pink!
This bookcase isn't for me.
It's for my daughter, Susan.
Pink's her favourite colour.
Don't drop it!
What are you going to do with that vase, Mary?
I'm going to put it on the radio, John.
Don't do that.
Give it to me.
What are you going to do with it?
I'm going to put it here, in front of the window.
Be careful!
Don't drop it!
Don't put it there, John.
Put it here, on this shelf.
There we are!
It's a lovely vase.
Those flowers are lovely, too.
Mary's bag
Is that bag heavy, Mary?
Not very.
Here!
Put it on this chair.
What's in it?
A piece of cheese.
A loaf(条) of bread.
A bar of soap.
A bar of chocolate.
A bottle of milk.
A pound of sugar.
Half a pound of coffee.
A quarter of a pound of tea.
And a tin of tobacco.
Is that tin of tobacco for me?
Well, it's certainly not for me!
Can you make the tea, John?
Can you make the tea, John?
Yes, of course I can, Mary.
Is there any water in this kettle?
Yes, there is.
Where's the tea, dear?
It's over there, behind the teapot.
Can you see it?
I can see the teapot, but I can't see the tea.
There it is!
It's in front of you!
Ah yes, I can see it now.
Where are the teacups?
There are some in the cupboard(碗柜).
Can you find them?
Yes. Here they are.
Hurry up, John!
The kettle's boiling!
Can you type this letter?
The Boss: Can you come here a minute please, Bob?
Bob: Yes, sir?
The Boss: Where's Miss Jones?
Bob: She's next door. She's in her office, sir.
The Boss: Can she type this letter for me? Ask her please.
Bob: Yes, sir.
Bob: Can you type this letter for the boss please, Miss Jones?
Miss Jones: Yes, of course I can.
Bob: Here you are.
Miss Jones: Thank you, Bob.
Miss Jones: Bob!
Bob: Yes? What's the matter?
Miss Jones: I can't type this letter.
Miss Jones: I can't read it! The boss's handwriting is terrible!
A cup of coffee
Mrs Young: Do you like coffee, Mrs Price?
Mrs Price: Yes, I do.
Mrs Young: Do you want a cup?
Mrs Price: Yes, please, Mrs Young.
Mrs Young: Do you want any sugar?
Mrs Price: Yes, please.
Mrs Young: Do you want any milk?
Mrs Price: No, thank you. I don't like milk in my coffee. I like black coffee.
Mrs Young: Do you like biscuits?
Mrs Price: Yes, I do.
Mrs Young: Do you want one?
Mrs Price: Yes, please.
At the butcher's
Butcher: Do you want any meat today, Mrs Bird?
Mrs Bird: Yes, please.
Butcher: Do you want beef or lamb?
Mrs Bird: Beef, please.
Butcher: This lamb's very good.
Mrs Bird: I like lamb, but my husband doesn't.
Butcher: What about some steak? This is a nice piece.
Mrs Bird: Give me that piece please. And a pound of mince, too.
Butcher: Do you want a chicken, Mrs Bird? They're very nice.
Mrs Bird: No, thank you.
Mrs Bird: My husband likes steak, but he doesn't like chicken.
Butcher: To tell you the truth, Mrs Bird, I don't like chicken, either!
A pleasant climate
Hans: Where do you come from?
Dimitri: I come from Greece.
Hans: What's the climate like in your country?
Dimitri: It's very pleasant.
Hans: What's the weather like in spring?
Dimitri: It's often windy in March. It's always warm in April and May, but it rains sometimes.
Hans: What's it like in summer?
Dimitri: It's always hot in June, July and August. The sun shines every day.
Hans: Is it cold or warm in autumn?
Dimitri: It's always warm in September and October. It's often cold in November and it rains sometimes.
Hans: Is it very cold in winter?
Dimitri: It's often cold in December, January and February. It snows sometimes.
An interesting climate
Hans: Where do you come from?
Jim: I come from England.
Hans: What's the climate like in your country?
Jim: It's mild(温和的), but it's not always pleasant.
Jim: The weather's often cold in the North and windy in the East. It's often wet in the West and sometimes warm in the South.
Hans: Which seasons do you like best?
Jim: I like spring and summer. The days are long and the nights are short. The sun rises early and sets late.
Jim: I don't like autumn and winter. The days are short and the nights are long. The sun rises late and sets early. Our climate is not very good, but it's certainly interesting. It's our favorite subject of conversation.
The Sawyer family
The Sawyers live at 87 King Street.
In the morning, Mr Sawyer goes to work and the children go to school. Their father takes them to school every day.
Mrs Sawyer stays at home every day. She does the housework. She always eats her lunch at noon.
In the afternoon, she usually sees her friends. They often drink tea together.
In the evening, the children come home from school. They arrive home early.
Mr Sawyer comes home from work. He arrives home late.
At night, the children always do their homework. Then they go to bed. Mr Sawyer usually reads his newspaper, but sometimes he and his wife watch television.
An unusual day
It is eight o'clock. The children go to school by car every day, but today, they are going to school on foot.
It is ten o'clock. Mrs Sawyer usually stays at home in the morning, but this morning, she is going to the shops.
It is four o'clock. In the afternoon, Mrs Sawyer usually drinks tea in the living-room. But this afternoon, she is drinking tea in the garden.
It is six o'clock. In the evening, the children usually do their homework, but this evening, they are not doing their homework. At the moment, they are playing in the garden.
It is nine o'clock. Mr Sawyer usually reads his newspaper at night. But he is not reading his newspaper tonight. At the moment, he is reading an interesting book.
Is that all?
Lady: I want some envelopes please.
Stationer: Do you want the large size, or the small size?
Lady: The large size please.
Lady: Have you any writing-paper(信纸)?
Stationer: Yes, we have.
Stationer: I haven't any small pads. I only have large ones. Do you want a pad(便签簿)?
Lady: Yes, please.
Lady: And I want some black ink and some glue.
Stationer: A bottle of ink and a bottle of glue.
Lady: And I want a large box of chalk, too.
Stationer: I only have small boxes. Do you want one?
Lady: No, thank you.
Stationer: Is that all?
Lady: That's all, thank you.
Stationer: What else do you want?
Lady: I want my change.
Mr Williams: Where's Jimmy?
Mrs Williams: He's in bed.
Mr Williams: What's the matter with him?
Mrs Williams: He feels ill.
Mr Williams: He looks ill.
Mrs Williams: We must call the doctor.
Mr Williams: Yes, we must.
Mr Williams: Can you remember the doctor's telephone number?
Mrs Williams: Yes. It's 09754.
Doctor: Open your mouth, Jimmy. Show me your tongue. Say, 'Ah'.
Mr Williams: What's the matter with him, doctor?
Doctor: He has a bad cold, Mr Williams, so he must stay in bed for a week.
Mrs Williams: That's good news for Jimmy.
Doctor: Good news? Why?
Mr Williams: Because he doesn't like school!
Thank you, doctor
Doctor: How's Jimmy today?
Mrs Williams: He's better thank you, doctor.
Doctor: Can I see him please, Mrs Williams?
Mrs Williams: Certainly, doctor. Come upstairs.
Doctor: You look very well, Jimmy. You are better now, but you mustn't get up yet. You must stay in bed for another two days.
Doctor: The boy mustn't go to school yet, Mrs Williams. And he mustn't eat rich food.
Mrs Williams: Has he a temperature, doctor?
Doctor: No, he hasn't.
Mrs Williams: Must he stay in bed?
Doctor: Yes. He must remain in bed for another two days. He can get up for about two hours each day, but you must keep the room warm.
Doctor: Where's Mr Williams this evening?
Mrs Williams: He's in bed, doctor. Can you see him please? He has a bad cold, too!
Not a baby
Father: What are you going to do this evening, Betty?
Betty: I'm going to meet some friends, Dad.
Father: You mustn't come home late. You must be home at half past ten.
Betty: I can't get home so early, Dad! Can I have the key to the front door, please?
Father: No, you can't.
Mother: Betty's eighteen years old, Tom. She's not a baby. Give her the key. She always comes home early.
Father: Oh, all right!
Father: Here you are. But you mustn't come home after a quarter past eleven. Do you hear?
Betty: Yes, Dad.
Betty: Thanks, Mum.
Mother: That's all right, dear. Goodbye. Enjoy yourself!
Betty: We always enjoy ourselves, Mum. Bye, bye.
The weekend
Mrs Johnson: Hullo, Mrs Williams. Were you at the butcher's?
Mrs Williams: Yes, I was. Were you at the butcher's, too?
Mrs Johnson: No, I wasn't. I was at the greengrocer's. How's Jimmy today?
Mrs Williams: He's very well, thank you.
Mrs Johnson: Was he absent from school last week?
Mrs Williams: Yes, he was. He was absent on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. How are you all keeping(你们身体怎么样)?
Mrs Johnson: Very well, thank you. We're going to spend three days in the country. We're going to stay at my mother's for the week-end.
Mrs Williams: Friday, Saturday and Sunday in the country! Aren't you lucky!
The car race
There is a car race near our town every year. In 1968, there was a very big race.
There were hundreds of people there. My wife and I were at the race. Our friends, Julie and Jack were there, too. You can see us in the crowd. We are standing on the left.
There were twenty cars in the race. There were English cars, French cars, German cars, Italian cars, American cars and Japanese cars.
It was an exciting finish. The winner was Billy Stewart. He was in car number fifteen. Five other cars were just behind him.
On the way home, my wife said to me, "Don't drive so quickly! You're not Billy Stewart!"
He's awful
Jane: What's Ron Marston like, Pauline?
Pauline: He's awful! He telephoned me four times yesterday, and three times the day before yesterday.
Pauline: He telephoned the office yesterday morning and yesterday afternoon. My boss answered the telephone.
Jane: What did your boss say to him?
Pauline: He said, "Miss White is typing letters. She can't speak to you now!"
Pauline: Then I arrived home at six o'clock yesterday evening. He telephoned again. But I didn't answer the phone!
Jane: Did he telephone again last night?
Pauline: Yes, he did. He telephoned at nine o'clock.
Jane: What did you say to him?
Pauline: I said, "This is Pauline's mother. Please don't telephone my daughter again!"
Jane: Did he telephone again?
Pauline: No, he didn't!
The way to King Street
Last week Mrs Mills went to London. She does not know London very well, and she lost her way.
Suddenly, she saw a man near a bus-stop. "I can ask him the way." she said to herself.
"Excuse me," she said.
"Can you tell me the way to King Street please?"
The man smiled pleasantly. He did not understand English! He spoke German. He was a tourist.
Then he put his hand into his pocket, and took out a phrase-book.
He opened the book and found a phrase. He read the phrase slowly.
"I am sorry," he said. "I do not speak English."
Uncomfortable shoes
Lady: Have you any shoes like these?
Salesman: What size?
Lady: Size five.
Salesman: What colour?
Lady: Black.
Salesman: I'm sorry. We haven't any.
Lady: But my sister bought this pair last month.
Salesman: Did she buy them here?
Lady: No, she bought them in the U.S.A.
Salesman: We had some shoes like those a month ago, but we haven't any now.
Lady: Can you get a pair for me please?
Salesman: I'm afraid that I can't. They were in fashion last year and the year before last. But they're not in fashion this year.
Salesman: These shoes are in fashion now.
Lady: They look very uncomfortable.
Salesman: They are very uncomfortable. But women always wear uncomfortable shoes!
Terrible toothache
Nurse: Good morning, Mr Croft.
Mr Croft: Good morning, nurse. I want to see the dentist, please.
Nurse: Have you an appointment(预约)?
Mr Croft: No, I haven't.
Nurse: Is it urgent?
Mr Croft: Yes, it is. It's very urgent. I feel awful. I have a terrible toothache.
Nurse: Can you come at 10 a.m. on Monday, April 24th?
Mr Croft: I must see the dentist now, nurse.
Nurse: The dentist is very busy at the moment. Can you come at 2.0 p.m.?
Mr Croft: That's very late. Can't the dentist see me now?
Nurse: I'm afraid that he can't, Mr Croft. Can't you wait till this afternoon?
Mr Croft: I can wait, but my toothache can't!
Peggy's shopping-list
Tom: What are you doing, Peggy?
Peggy: I'm making a shopping-list, Tom.
Tom: What do we need?
Peggy: We need a lot of things this week.
Peggy: I must go to the grocer's. We haven't got much tea or coffee, and we haven't got any sugar or jam.
Tom: What about vegetables?
Peggy: I must go to the greengrocer's. We haven't got many tomatoes, but we've got a lot of potatoes.
Peggy: I must go to the butcher's, too. We need some meat. We haven't got any meat at all.
Tom: Have we got any beer and wine?
Peggy: No, we haven't. And I'm not going to get any!
Tom: I hope that you've got some money.
Peggy: I haven't got much.
Tom: Well I haven't got much either!
Roast beef and potatoes
John: Hullo, Peggy! Where's Tom?
Peggy: He's upstairs. He's having a bath.
Peggy: Tom!
Tom: Yes?
Peggy: John's here.
Tom: I'm nearly ready.
Tom: Hullo, John. Have a cigarette.
John: No thanks, Tom.
Tom: Have a glass of whisky then.
John: O.K. Thanks.
Tom: Is dinner ready, Peggy?
Peggy: It's nearly ready. We can have dinner at seven o'clock.
Tom: John and I had lunch together today. We went to a restaurant.
Peggy: What did you have?
Tom: We had roast beef and potatoes.
Peggy: Oh!
Tom: What's the matter, Peggy?
Peggy: Well, you're going to have roast beef and potatoes again tonight!
Going on a holiday
Peggy: Hullo, John. Come in.
Tom: Hullo, John. We're having lunch. Do you want to have lunch with us?
John: No thank you, Tom. I've already had lunch. I had lunch at half past twelve.
Peggy: Have a cup of coffee then.
John: I've just had a cup, thank you. I had one after my lunch.
Tom: Let's go into the living-room, Peggy. We can have our coffee there.
Peggy: Excuse the mess, John. This room's very untidy. We're packing our suitcases. We're going to leave tomorrow. Tom and I are going to have a holiday.
John: Aren't you lucky!
Tom: When are you going to have a holiday, John?
John: I don't know. I've already had my holiday this year.
Peggy: Where did you go?
John: I stayed at home!
Paris in the Spring
George: Hullo, Ken.
Ken: Hullo, George.
George: Have you just been to the cinema?
Ken: Yes, I have.
George: What's on?
Ken: "Paris in the Spring".
George: Oh, I've already seen it. I saw it on a B.B.C. television programme last year. It's an old film, but it's very good.
Ken: Paris is a beautiful city.
George: I have never been there. Have you ever been there, Ken?
Ken: Yes, I have. I was there in April.
George: Paris in the spring, eh?
Ken: It was spring, but the weather was awful. It rained all the time.
George: Just like dear old London!
A car crash
Mr Wood: Is my car ready yet?
Attendant: I don't know, sir. What's the licence number of your car?
Mr Wood: It's LFZ 312 G.
Attendant: When did you bring it to us?
Mr Wood: I brought it hear three days ago.
Attendant: Ah yes, I remember now.
Mr Wood: Have your mechanics finished yet?
Attendant: No, they're still working on it. Let's go into the garage and have a look at it.
Attendant: Isn't that your car?
Mr Wood: Well, it was my car.
Attendant: Didn't your wife have a crash?
Mr Wood: That's right. She drove it into a lamp post(灯柱). Can your mechanics repair it?
Attendant: Well, they're trying to repair it, sir. But to tell you the truth, you need a new car.
For sale
Mr Hill: Good afternoon. I believe that this house is for sale.
Mr West: That's right.
Mr Hill: May I have a look at it please?
Mr West: Yes, of course. Come in.
Mr Hill: How long have you lived here?
Mr West: I have lived here for twenty years.
Mr Hill: Twenty years! That's a long time.
Mr West: Yes, I have been here since 1947.
Mr Hill: Then why do you want to sell it?
Mr West: Because I have just retired. I want to buy a small house in the country.
Mr Hill: How much does this house cost?
Mr West: 6850.
Mr Hill: That's a lot of money!
Mr West: It's worth every penny of it.
Mr Hill: Well, I like the house, but I can't decide yet. My wife must see it first.
Mr West: Women always have the last word.
Poor West
Mrs Smith: Has Mr West sold his house yet?
Mrs Brown: Yes, he has. He sold it last week.
Mrs Smith: Has he moved to his new house yet?
Mrs Brown: No, not yet. He's still here. He's going to move tomorrow.
Mrs Smith: When? Tomorrow morning?
Mrs Brown: No. Tomorrow afternoon. I shall miss him. He has always been a good neighbour.
Mrs Green: He's a very nice person. We shall all miss him.
Mrs Smith: When will the new people move into this house?
Mrs Brown: I think that they will move in the day after tomorrow.
Mrs Green: Will you see Mr West today, Mrs Brown?
Mrs Brown: Yes, I shall.
Mrs Green: Please give him my regards.(向某人问候)
Mrs Smith: Poor Mr West! He didn't want to leave this house.
Mrs Brown: No, he didn't want to leave, but his wife did!
Our new neighbour
Mr Hill is our new next-door neighbour. He's a pilot.
He was in the R.A.F.
He will fly to New York next month.
The month after next he will fly to Tokyo.
At the moment, he's in Madrid. He flew to Spain a week ago.
He will return to London the week after next.
He's only forty-one years old, and he has already been to nearly every country in the world.
Mr Hill is a very lucky man. But his wife isn't very lucky. She usually stays at home!
Ticket, please.
George: Two return tickets to London please. What time will the next train leave?
Attendant: At nineteen minutes past eight.
George: Which platform?
Attendant: Platform Two. Over the bridge.
Ken: What time will the next train leave?
George: At eight nineteen.
Ken: We've got plenty of time.
George: It's only three minutes to eight.
Ken: Let's go and have a drink. There's a bar next door to the station.
George: We had better go back to the station now, Ken.
Porter: Tickets please.
George: We want to catch the eight nineteen to London.
Porter: You've just missed it!
George: What! It's only eight fifteen.
Porter: I'm sorry, sir. That clock's ten minutes slow.
George: When's the next train?
Porter: In five hours' time!
A small blue case
Mr Hall: I left a suitcase on the train to London the other day.
Attendant: Can you describe it, sir?
Mr Hall: It's a small blue case and it's got a zip. There's a label on the handle with my name and address on it.
Attendant: Is this case yours?
Mr Hall: No, that's not mine.
Attendant: What about this one? This one's got a label.
Mary: He says he'll write a letter soon. He hopes we are all well. "Love, Jimmy."
Grandmother: Is that all? He doesn't say very much, does he?
Mary: He can't write very much on a card, mother.
The intelligence test
Harry: How was the examination, Dick?
Dick: Not too bad. I think I passed in English and Mathematics. The questions were very easy. How about you, Harry?
Harry: The English and Maths papers weren't easy enough for me. I hope I haven't failed.
Dick: I think I failed the Intelligence Test. I could answer sixteen of the questions. They were very easy. But I couldn't answer the rest. They were too difficult for me.
Harry: Intelligence tests are awful, aren't they?
Dick: I hate them. I'm sure I've got a low I.Q.
Harry: Oh, cheer up(振作点)! Perhaps we didn't do too badly. The fellow next to me wrote his name at the top of the paper.
Dick: Yes?
Harry: Then he sat there and looked at it for three hours! He didn't write a word!
Hello, Mr boss.
The Boss: Where's Miss Simpson, Bob? I want her.
Bob: Do you want to speak to her, sir?
The Boss: Yes, I do. I want her to come to my office. Tell her to come at once.
Miss Simpson: Did you want to see me, sir?
The Boss: Ah, yes, Miss Simpson. How do you spell "intelligent"? Can you tell me?
Miss Simpson: I-N-T-E-L-L-I-G-E-N-T.
The Boss: That's right. You've typed it with only one "L". This letter's full of mistakes. I want you to type it again.
Miss Simpson: Yes, sir. I'm sorry about that.
The Boss: And here's a little present for you.
Miss Simpson: What is it?
The Boss: It's a dictionary. I hope it will help you.
It's too small
Assistant: Do you like this dress, madam?
Lady: I like the colour very much. It's a lovely dress, but it's too small for me.
Assistant: What about this one? It's a lovely dress. It's very smart. Short skirts are in fashion now. Would you like to try it?
Lady: All right.
Lady: I'm afraid this green dress is too small for me as well. It's smaller than the blue one.
Lady: I don't like the colour either. It doesn't suit me at all. I think the blue dress is prettier.
Lady: Could you show me another blue dress? I want a dress like that one, but it must be my size.
Assistant: I'm afraid I haven't got a larger dress. This is the largest dress in the shop.
A good idea
Betty: Shall I make some coffee, Jane?
Jane: That's a good idea, Betty.
Betty: It's ready. Do you want any milk?
Jane: Just a little please.
Betty: What about some sugar? Two teaspoonfuls?
Jane: No, less than that. One and a half teaspoonfuls please. That's enough for me.
Jane: That was very nice.
Betty: Would you like some more?
Jane: Yes, please.
Jane: I'd like a cigarette, too. May I have one?
Betty: Of course. I think there are a few in that box.
Jane: I'm afraid it's empty.
Betty: What a pity!(真遗憾)
Jane: It doesn't matter.
Betty: Have a biscuit instead. Eat more and smoke less!
Jane: That's very good advice!
The most expensive model
Mr Frith: I like this record-player very much. How much does it cost please?
Assistant: It's the most expensive model in the shop. It costs sixty-four pounds.
Mrs Frith: That's too expensive for us. We can't afford all that money.
Assistant: This model's less expensive than that one. It's only twenty-eight pounds. But, of course, it's not as good as the expensive one.
Mr Frith: I don't like this model. The other model's more expensive, but it's worth the money.
Mr Frith: Can we buy it on instalments?(分期付款)
Assistant: Of course. You can pay a deposit(保证金) of ten pounds, and then one pound a week for sixty weeks.
Mr Frith: Do you like it, dear?
Mrs Frith: I certainly do, but I don't like the price. You always want the best, but we can't afford it. Sometimes you think you're a millionaire!
Mr Frith: Millionaires don't buy things on instalments!
Small change
Conductor: Fares please!
Man: Trafalgar Square please.
Conductor: I'm sorry, sir. I can't change a pound note. Haven't you got any small change?
Man: I've got no small change, I'm afraid.
Conductor: I'll ask some of the passengers.
Conductor: Have you any small change, sir?
1st Passenger: I'm sorry. I've got none.
2nd Passenger: I haven't got any either.
Conductor: Can you change this pound note, madam?
3rd Passenger: I'm afraid I can't.
4th Passenger: Neither can I.
Conductor: I'm very sorry, sir. You must get off the bus. None of our passengers can change this note. They're all millionaires!
Two Tramps: Except us, conductor.
1st Tramp: I've got some small change.
2nd Tramp: So have I.
Knock knock
Helen: Isn't there anyone at home?
Jim: I'll knock again, Helen. Everything's very quiet. I'm sure there's no one at home.
Helen: But that's impossible. Pat and Tom invited us to lunch. Look through the window.
Helen: Can you see anything?
Jim: Nothing at all.
Helen: Let's try the back door.
Jim: Look! Everyone's in the garden.
Pat: Hullo, Helen. Hullo, Jim.
Tom: Everybody wants to have lunch in the garden. It's nice and warm out here.
Pat: Come and have something to drink.
Jim: Thanks, Pat. May I have a glass of beer please?
Pat: Beer? There's none left. You can have some lemonade.(柠檬水)
Jim: Lemonade!
Tom: Don't believe her, Jim. She's only joking. Have some beer!
Tommy's breakfast
When my husband was going into the dining-room this morning, he dropped some coins on the floor.
There were coins everywhere. We looked for them, but we could not find them all.
While we were having breakfast, our little boy, Tommy, found two small coins on the floor.
He put them both into his mouth. We both tried to get the coins, but it was too late. Tommy had already swallowed them!
Later that morning, when I was doing the housework, my husband telephoned me from the office.
"How's Tommy?" he asked.
"I don't know," I answered, "Tommy's been to the lavatory three times this morning, but I haven't had any change yet!"
A true story
Do you like stories? I want to tell you a true story. It happened to a friend of mine a year ago.
While my friend, George, was reading in bed, two thieves climbed into his kitchen. After they had entered the house, they went into the dining-room. It was very dark, so they turned on a torch. Suddenly, they heard a voice behind them. "What's up? What's up?(什么事)" someone called. The thieves dropped the torch and ran away as quickly as they could.
George heard the noise and came downstairs quickly. He turned on the light, but he couldn't see anyone. The thieves had already gone.
But George's parrot, Henry, was still there.
"What's up, George?" he called.
"Nothing, Henry," George said and smiled.
"Go back to sleep."
The man in the hat
Customer: I bought two expensive dictionaries here half an hour ago, but I forgot to take them with me.
Manager: Who served you, sir?
Customer: The lady who is standing behind the counter.
Manager: Which books did you buy?
Customer: The books which are on the counter.
Manager: Did you serve this gentleman half an hour ago, Miss Roberts? He says he's the man who bought these books.
Miss Roberts: I can't remember, sir. The man whom I served was wearing a hat.
Manager: Have you got a hat, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have.
Manager: Would you put it on, please?
Customer: All right.
Manager: Is this the man that you served, Miss Roberts?
Miss Roberts: Yes, sir. I recognize him now.
A trip to Australia
Bill: Look, Bob. This is a photograph I took during my trip to Australia.
Bob: Let me see it, Bill.
Bob: This is a good photograph. Who are these people?
Bill: They're people I met during the trip.
Bill: That's the ship we traveled on.
Bob: What a beautiful ship!
Bob: Who's this?
Bill: That's the man I told you about. Remember?
Bob: Ah yes. The one who offered you a job in Australia.
Bill: That's right.
Bob: Who's this?
Bill: Guess!
Bob: It's not you, is it?
Bill: That's right.
Bill: I grew a beard during the trip, but I shaved it off when I came home.
Bob: Why did you shave it off?
Bill: My wife didn't like it!
Tea for two
Susan: Can't you come in and have tea now, Peter?
Peter: Not yet, dear. I must water the garden first.
Susan: Do you have to water it now?
Peter: I'm afraid I must. Look at it! It's terribly dry.
Susan: What a nuisance!(真讨厌)
Peter: Last summer it was very dry, too. Don't you remember? I had to water it every day.
Susan: Well, I'll have tea by myself.
Susan: That was quick! Have you finished already?
Peter: Yes, dear. Look out of the window.
Susan: Good heaven! It's raining. That means you needn't water the garden.
Peter: That was a pleasant surprise. It means I can have tea, instead.
A famous actress
Kate: Can you recognize that woman, Millie?
Millie: I think I can, Kate. It must be Karen Marsh, the actress.
Kate: I thought so. Who's that beside her?
Millie: That must be Conrad Reeves.
Kate: Conrad Reeves, the actor? It can't be. Let me have another look. I think you're right! Isn't he her third husband?
Millie: No. He must be her fourth or fifth.
Kate: Doesn't Karen Marsh look old!
Millie: She does, doesn't she! I read she's twenty-nine, but she must be at least forty.
Kate: I'm sure she is.
Millie: She was a famous actress when I was still a schoolgirl.
Kate: That was a long time ago, wasn't it?
Millie: Not that long ago! I'm not more than twenty-nine myself.
70 miles an hour
Ann: Look, Harry! That policeman's waving to you. He wants you to stop.
Policeman: Where do you think you are? On a race track? You must have been driving at seventy miles an hour.
Harry: I can't have been.
Policeman: I was doing eighty when I overtook you.
Policeman: Didn't you see the speed limit?
Harry: I'm afraid I didn't, officer. I must have been dreaming.
Ann: He wasn't dreaming, officer. I was telling him to drive slowly.
Harry: That's why I didn't see the sign.
Policeman: Let me see your driving-license and your insurance certificate.
Policeman: I won't charge you this time. But you'd better not do it again!
Harry: Thank you. I'll certainly be more careful.
Ann: I told you to drive slowly, Harry.
Harry: You always tell me to drive slowly, dear.
Ann: Well, next time you'd better take my advice!
Don't be so sure
Roy: Where are you going to spend your holidays this year, Harry?
Harry: We may go abroad. I'm not sure. My wife wants to go to Egypt. I'd like to go there, too. We can't make up our minds.
Roy: Will you travel by sea or by air?
Harry: We may travel by sea.
Roy: It's cheaper, isn't it?
Harry: It may be cheaper, but it takes a long time.
Roy: I'm sure you will enjoy yourselves.
Harry: Don't be so sure. We may not go anywhere. My wife always worries too much. Who's going to look after the dog? Who's going to look after the house? Who's going to look after the garden? We have this problem every year. In the end, we stay at home and look after everything!
Sensational news
Reporter: Have you just made a new film, Miss Marsh?
Miss Marsh: Yes, I have.
Reporter: Are you going to make another?
Miss Marsh: No, I'm not. I'm going to retire. I feel very tired. I don't want to make another film for a long time.
Kate: let's buy a newspaper, Millie. Listen to this! "Karen Marsh: Sensational News!(轰动新闻) by our reporter, Alan Jones. Miss Karen Marsh arrived at London Airport today. She was wearing a blue dress and a mink coat. She told me she had just made a new film. She said she was not going to make another. She said she was going to retire. She told reporters she felt very tired and didn't want to make another film for a long time."
Millie: Well, fancy that, Kate!
The latest report
Reporter: Are you really going to retire, Miss Marsh?
Miss Marsh: I may. I can't make up my mind. I shall have to ask my future husband. He won't let me make another film.
Reporter: Your future husband, Miss Marsh?
Miss Marsh: Yes. Let me introduce him to you. His name is Carlos. We shall get married next week.
Kate: Look, Millie! Here's another report about Karen Marsh. Listen: "Karen Marsh: The Latest. At her London Hotel today Miss Marsh told reporters she might retire. She said she couldn't make up her mind. She said she would have to ask her future husband. She said her future husband would not let her make another film. Then she introduced us to Carlos and told us they would get married next week."
Millie: That's sensational news, isn't it, Kate?
Kate: It certainly is. He'll be her sixth husband!
A pleasant dream
June: Are you doing the football pools(赌注), Brian?
Brian: Yes, I've nearly finished, June. I'm sure we shall win something this week.
June: You always say that, but we never win anything! What will you do if you win a lot of money?
Brian: If I win a lot of money I shall buy you a mink coat.
June: I don't want a mink coat! I want to see the world.(见世面)
Brian: All right. If we win a lot of money we shall travel round the world and we shall stay at the best hotels. Then we shall return home and buy a big house in the country. We shall have a beautiful garden and ...
June: But if we spend all that money we shall be poor again. What shall we do then?
Brian: If we spend all the money we shall try and win the football pools again.
June: It's a pleasant dream but everything depends on "if"!
Is that you, John?
Mr Grimes: Is that you, John?
John Smith: Yes; speaking.
Mr Grimes: Tell Mary we shall be late for dinner this evening.
John Smith: I'm afraid I don't understand.
Mr Grimes: Hasn't Mary told you? She invited Betty and me to dinner this evening. I said I would be at your house at six o'clock, but the boss wants me to do some extra work. I'll have to stay at the office. I don't know when I shall finish. Oh, and by the way, my wife wants to know if Mary needs any help.
John Smith: I don't know what you're talking about.
Mr Grimes: That is John Smith, isn't it?
John Smith: Yes, I'm John Smith.
Mr Grimes: You are John Smith, the engineer, aren't you?
John Smith: That's right.
Mr Grimes: You work for the Overseas Engineering Company, don't you?
John Smith: No, I don't. I'm John Smith the telephone engineer and I'm repairing your telephone line.
Sally's first train ride
Last week, my four year old daughter, Sally, was invited to a children's party. I decided to take her by train. Sally was very excited because she had never travelled on a train before. She sat near the window and asked questions about everything she saw. Suddenly, a middle-aged lady came into our compartment and sat opposite Sally.
"Hullo, little girl." she said.
Sally did not answer, but looked at her curiously.
The lady was dressed in a blue coat and a large, funny hat. After the train had left the station, the lady opened her handbag and took out her powder compact (粉盒). She then began to make up her face.
"Why are you doing that?" Sally asked.
"To make myself beautiful," the lady answered. She put away her compact and smiled kindly.
"But you are still ugly." Sally said. Sally was amused, but I was very embarrassed!
A walk through the woods
I live in a very old town which is surrounded by beautiful woods. It is a famous beauty spot(风景地点). On Sundays, hundreds of people come from the city to see our town and to walk through the woods. Visitors have been asked to keep the woods clean and tidy. Litter-baskets have been placed under the trees, but people still throw their rubbish everywhere. Last Wednesday, I went for a walk in the woods. What I saw made me very sad. I counted seven old cars and three old refrigerators. The litter-baskets were empty and the ground was covered with pieces of paper, cigarette-ends, old tyres, empty bottles and rusty tins. Among the rubbish I found a sign which said: "Anyone who leaves litter in these woods will be prosecuted.(处罚)"!
